Anata Wa Shiawase Ni Naru
by Eirenei
Summary: STARISH was bound together with much older and bloodier bonds. A promise, spoken many years ago is now bound to either come true or crash and burn.
1. Chizuru

**_ANATA WA SHIAWASE NI NARU_**

Hakuoki/Utapri crossover

 ** _Disclaimer:_** I don't own _Hakuoki,_ nor do I own _Uta no Prince-Sama._ This story is a figment of my imagination, with the characters being borrowed from their true owners.

 ** _Summary:_** _STARISH_ was bound together with much older and bloodier bonds. A promise, spoken many years ago is now bound to either come true or crash and burn.

 ** _Shout Out:_** My next foray into Utapri and first one in writing crossover between those two fandoms. A lofty goal, I have to admit, but I need some breathing space from my main projects and life, busy as it is. The idea has been written out last year, and hopefully I will flesh it out more this year. Why this particular crossover? It tickled both my brain. 'Nuff said.

A fair warning - the length of the chapters will vary, from short, almost snippet-like ones, to longer ones, depending on my mood.

 _ **Warnings:**_ AU-verse, crossover, death, violent scenes and maybe happily ever after. Oh, and drama galore.

 _A thousand years' promise, the midsummer night's dream_

 _Reaching for tomorrow and when it shatters -_

 _What can you do, except to follow through?_

 ** _*Chizuru*_**

 _"_ _I want to protect you."_

Innocent, terrible words that haunted her.

She didn't want this. She _never_ wanted this. Not for the terrible price all of them had been forced to pay in order to satisfy her selfish desire to find her father.

If she had been cleverer, more rational, she would have gone back home, found herself a good man and got married to him. If she had been a little bit stronger, she could've protected them from getting those terrible wounds and consequently from being killed. If she had been a lot more selfless than she was, she wouldn't have let her heart tie itself to them so strongly.

Her strong, beautiful, brave protectors.

The Wolves of Mibu - captains of their small, ragged pack holding onto their pride and honor when it was being washed away like blood spilling from the cooling corpses.

Within her heart, she cradled those smiles, that kindness and those tiny moments of happiness like the most precious jewels, the fallen stars from the endless winter sky.

It will happen, she knew, once again. Once again, she would have to choose, and the mere thought was both heady relief and terrible agony. How many times, she wondered, would she have to break the others in order to make one of them happy?

The answer was mercilessly simple and at the same time, horrifying in its simplicity.

Always one time too many.


	2. Shinsengumi

**_ANATA WA SHIAWASE NI NARU_**

Hakuoki/Utapri crossover

 ** _Disclaimer:_** I don't own _Hakuoki,_ nor do I own _Uta no Prince-Sama._ This story is a figment of my imagination, with the characters being borrowed from their true owners.

 ** _Summary:_** _STARISH_ was bound together with much older and bloodier bonds. A promise, spoken many years ago is now bound to either come true or crash and burn.

 ** _Shout Out:_** Shinsengumi as a whole were hard to describe. From a rowdy bunch to a a tragic people with noble intentions, depending on what you are reading at the moment. I don't know if I caught their overall image, but it fit in my imaging of the story however I wrote it.

 ** _Warnings:_** AU-verse, crossover, death, violent scenes and maybe happily ever after. Oh, and drama galore.

 ** _*Shinsengumi*_**

She came into their lives like a weed. Unneeded and unwanted, fragile and just _there._ At first, nobody had known what to do with her - her courage, going to Kyoto all by her lone self, was admirable, but that still didn't change the fact they couldn't do much, just because she was a girl and with _rasetsu_ on the prowl, it was a foregone conclusion that someone would have to take responsibility for her well-being.

Their Vice-Commander was not happy, but he still allowed her to live with them as their caretaker. It was a strange feeling at first, coming back from their errands and patrols to warm meal and hot tea made by that girl's hands. Slowly, but surely, their quarters became different - not always visibly, but in a sense of being lived in, in belonging to someone. The building where they resided became home - comprised from shy smiles, determined brown eyes, freshly-brewed tea, quiet presence in the evenings and on the rare occasion, when one or another of them was wounded, gentle care that demanded nothing back.

Slowly, the weed became the most precious flower in their eyes. It didn't have the splendor of many other blooms they knew of; none of their vivid colors nor magnificent scent - but it was there – gentle, fragile, stubbornly clinging onto them and believing the best within them. They could've dealt with everything, but this had left them undone, ready, willing and able and doomed to lay their lives at her feet. Not because of their honor, but because she deserved to live and love and laugh and if the price for that was to be their lives, it was the one they would pay gladly a thousand times over.


	3. Okita

**_ANATA WA SHIAWASE NI NARU_**

Hakuoki/Utapri crossover

 ** _Disclaimer:_** I don't own _Hakuoki,_ nor do I own _Uta no Prince-Sama._ This story is a figment of my imagination, with the characters being borrowed from their true owners.

 ** _Summary:_** _STARISH_ was bound together with much older and bloodier bonds. A promise, spoken many years ago is now bound to either come true or crash and burn.

 ** _Shout Out:_** This one was both easy and frustrating in the same measure. Okita is both a monster but extremely honorable on the other side and sometimes it made me wonder what his character would be like if he hadn't been besieged by his illness...

 ** _Warnings:_** AU-verse, crossover, death, violent scenes and maybe happily ever after. Oh, and drama galore.

 ** _*Okita*_**

 _"_ _If I can't became a butterfly in your skies,_

 _I don't care if I become a demon."_

Yes, he was aware that he was a monster. It both amused and irked him, but if that was what kept them wary of him – then so be it.

He was a loyal monster - loyal to Kondou-san and his comrades, despite his schemes and merciless teasing ways. His favorite pastime was needling Hijikata about his poems - the man was otherwise just too much of a party-pooper, all prim and proper and certified demon to anyone who dared to step a toe out of the proverbial line.

So it was almost cute to see him so flustered.

Second to flustering Yukimura, of course.

It had been amusing to see his fellow captains mistaking an obvious girl for a boy. The expressions on their faces when they found out the truth were priceless.

 _"_ _I will kill you."_ His little catchphrase didn't deter her from caring about him. She could blush so easily when he teased her, but still, she had a spine of pure steel when she was confronted with his _rasetsu_ self.

Because of her, he wanted to live. He _needed_ to live, even if this was just an ever-distant dream of his, slowly decaying in the wake of his advancing illness.

She didn't want him to take on the curse of _rasetsu_ for her sake - his heart twisted at the memory of her teary, hurt eyes. But it didn't matter. He may have idolized Kondou-san, but she, Chizuru, was infinitely more precious and dear to him. And if he had become even more of a monster just to protect her, his love… it was alright.

Monsters _did_ exist for such purpose, after all.


	4. Hijikata

**_ANATA WA SHIAWASE NI NARU_**

 _Hakuoki/Utapri crossover_

 ** _Disclaimer:_** I don't own _Hakuoki_ , nor do I own _Uta no Prince-Sama_. This story is a figment of my imagination, with the characters being borrowed from their true owners.

 ** _Summary:_** _STARISH_ was bound together with much older and bloodier bonds. A promise, spoken many years ago is now bound to either come true or crash and burn.

 ** _Shout Out:_** Hijikata. A stick in the mud with poetic tendencies however inadequate they are. Also stubborn to the core, even if he does mellow out some as the story progresses.

 ** _Warnings:_** AU-verse, crossover, death, violent scenes and maybe happily ever after. Oh, and drama galore.

 ** _*Hijikata*_**

 _Hakuoki._

The name was given to him at the end of that dark road, paved with blood and bodies of both his comrades and enemies.

Ephemeral like cherry blossoms, that kind of honor.

All through his life, he had striven to be a samurai in the time that was rapidly rejecting the values samurai represented.

Shinsengumi as a whole were a bunch of fakes - idealists who believed that they could change their fates.

They had been fools that believed if they pretended long enough, they would eventually become the real deal.

And for a fleeting, brief moment, they had. With her.

But for all their pretending, the reality was harsh. No matter how much Okita pretended to be healthy, he still had tuberculosis. Heisuke wasn't any taller, Shinpachi wasn't the chick magnet he imagined himself to be, Harada didn't have his peaceful life and tiny family, Saito wasn't accepted in his family, and he, Hijikata, wasn't a samurai.

Nobody won. Like cherry blossoms that bloomed too early, their most secret wishes scattered away, unfulfilled and useless. Even his wish to be a samurai under Kondou and serve him took a second to last seat to the burning, all-consuming need to protect her.

To want her and to be the sole most important center of her universe - and if he had to forsake his human nature, just to walk alongside her, well, this was his own selfish decision. What was one more dance with demons and death if she was by his side?


	5. Heisuke

**_ANATA WA SHIAWASE NI NARU_**

Hakuoki/Utapri crossover

 ** _Disclaimer:_** I don't own _Hakuoki,_ nor do I own _Uta no Prince-Sama._ This story is a figment of my imagination, with the characters being borrowed from their true owners.

 ** _Summary:_** _STARISH_ was bound together with much older and bloodier bonds. A promise, spoken many years ago is now bound to either come true or crash and burn.

 ** _Shout Out:_ ** Heisuke is a chapter in and of himself. Either you love him for being adorable punk or hate his bratty ways, but you can't say he isn't amusing. The juxtaposition between his character and the manner in which he died struck me rather hard and this mirrors in this little snippet.

 ** _Warnings:_** AU-verse, crossover, death, violent scenes and maybe happily ever after. Oh, and drama galore.

 ** _*Heisuke*_**

It was kind of a fucked-up fairytale. At first, pleasant dreams of living with Shinsengumi and Chizuru, but then, the idyllic times warped into nightmare.

The _rasetsu_ attacks, that damned persistence in taking Chizuru away from them, his own cowardice and feelings of worthlessness –

He was a _captain_ , dammit, the youngest one of the bunch - and because of that, everything hurt even more.

He longed to live those simple, carefree days once more, without his guilt and _ochimizu_ destroying his body to ashes and dust.

 _"_ _Smile, Chizuru."_

A selfish request, he knew, but her smiling face was his salvation and absolution.

So long as she smiled…everything was alright. Everything would be alright.

In his mind, she saw her like she was that distant evening, clothed into _maiko_ garb – a shy, fragile blossom that made his breath stutter within his chest and making his face flush the color of cooked lobster.

This was Chizuru as a girl, and both Shinpachi and Harada also gawped at her.

But for him, she was the most beautiful when she smiled. He didn't mind playing a fool just to see those eyes sparkle with amusement at his plight.

His heart clenched with bittersweet feeling. So many wishes, so little time. If only he had more time and peace… but he knew, she would be in good hands, just like Hijikata-san was, if her heart was anything to go by.

His world was her smile.


	6. Saito

**_ANATA WA SHIAWASE NI NARU_**

Hakuoki/Utapri crossover

 ** _Disclaimer:_** I don't own _Hakuoki,_ nor do I own _Uta no Prince-Sama._ This story is a figment of my imagination, with the characters being borrowed from their true owners.

 ** _Summary:_** _STARISH_ was bound together with much older and bloodier bonds. A promise, spoken many years ago is now bound to either come true or crash and burn.

 ** _Shout Out:_** Saito is calmer, less tsundere version of Hijikata. But get on his wrong side and well...There _is_ a reason he is one of the monsters in Shinsengumi, but he has curiously soft side... deep underneath all the ice and overly proper manners.

 ** _Warnings:_** AU-verse, crossover, death, violent scenes and maybe happily ever after. Oh, and drama galore.

 ** _*Saito*_**

He was an outlaw because of his left hand. He had been accused and cast out of his family only to find his new home with the Wolves.

Hijikata-san said he was strong, no matter his left-handed sword style. And he was accepted by their resident green-eyed monster, Okita. Others accepted him easily enough too, and just like that, he found the place to belong.

Until her - until she came, fragile and firm, she who made her nest among the most dangerous men of Mibu, like a bird making her home among the thorny vines.

 _Chizuru_. How apt. Thousand wishes, indeed. He had seen how they looked at her - their eyes gentle and kind. She had thawed out Hijikata-san, and tamed the fires burning within Okita. With her, there were colors and tastes and life unlike before. He could still recall her startled blush when he had gifted her with a rabbit, made of snow.

She was so gentle, but with a core made of steel, like _katana_ forged by the greatest of master sword smiths

When he saw her in a _maiko_ outfit, he had thought his heart would stop for a moment. Maybe it had.

And if he protected her all the more after that, this was his own business.

His body was being wracked by the changes _ochimizu_ forced upon it as he mounted the attack against the enemy.

Maybe her heart wasn't his, but his own belonged to her.

What was his body against that kind of price?


	7. Harada

**_ANATA WA SHIAWASE NI NARU_**

Hakuoki/Utapri crossover

 ** _Disclaimer:_** I don't own _Hakuoki,_ nor do I own _Uta no Prince-Sama._ This story is a figment of my imagination, with the characters being borrowed from their true owners.

 ** _Summary:_** _STARISH_ was bound together with much older and bloodier bonds. A promise, spoken many years ago is now bound to either come true or crash and burn.

 ** _Shout Out:_** Harada is one of those that made me frustrated. He is both playful but he can also be serious and wise. He can take a joke, and on the other side, he can stake his life for the honor of nameless stranger. His bigger-than-life personality also earned him both male and female admirers and he lived with few regrets, if any. But portraying his serious side was hard just because of that overwhelming personality of his.

 ** _Warnings:_** AU-verse, crossover, death, violent scenes and maybe happily ever after. Oh, and drama galore.

 _*_ _ **Harada***_

His senses were dulling in jerky waves, each one pulling him deeper as he laid his back against the cold bark of the tree. Even the pain in his side faded into the background, like unwanted white noise falling into deaf darkness, his fingers becoming numb and cold.

He knew he wouldn't be meeting them like he had promised.

 _'_ _I'm sorry, everyone.'_

The betrayals, their grief, the deaths, everything was a bitter tapestry of misery. The Wolves of Mibu had been broken apart and one by one, picked by the death's cold hand.

No more Okita teasing Hijikata-san about his atrocious _haiku._

Never again would Shinpachi get Heisuke into trouble with Hijikata.

There won't be any more chasing after that darn cat who shamelessly stole yet another fish out of their haul for their lunch.

No more teasing Heisuke about his height or feigning confusion in the wake of Shinpachi's unsuccessful womanizing ways.

No more sparring with Saito.

 _No more smiles from her._

And that, by all its lonesome, hurt the most.

Chizuru, the little flower that brightened their days, their tiny ray of sunshine that made their residence into home just by being here. He loved to tease her, to see that startled blush on her cheeks and huffy pout on her face.

He had tried to convince himself that he only saw her as his little sister, but deep within his heart he knew she was more to him than just that. He cursed himself for throwing away his _ochimizu,_ but what was done, was done. He just hoped she would be safe as his mind finally drowned within darkness.

 _'Chizuru, I'm...sorry.'_


	8. Chikage

**_ANATA WA SHIAWASE NI NARU_**

Hakuoki/Utapri crossover

 ** _Disclaimer:_** I don't own _Hakuoki,_ nor do I own _Uta no Prince-Sama._ This story is a figment of my imagination, with the characters being borrowed from their true owners.

 ** _Summary:_** _STARISH_ was bound together with much older and bloodier bonds. A promise, spoken many years ago is now bound to either come true or crash and burn.

 ** _Shout Out:_** He kind of reminded me of more honorable version of Gilgamesh from _Fate/Zero_. They could've been twins appearance-wise, but at least Chikage has an actual personality, while Gilgamesh is too entrenched in his 'kingly' rights and pleasures. Still, hard to describe because he is not shown as often as Shinsengumi, so it's hard to get an accurate read on his personality despite his deep affection to Chizuru.

 ** _Warnings:_** AU-verse, crossover, death, violent scenes and maybe happily ever after. Oh, and drama galore.

 ** _*Chikage*_**

 _Stubborn._ So foolishly stubborn she was, in order not to leave her precious humans.

When he had heard about her - the pure-blooded female _oni_ \- his hopes about continuing and strengthening their race were bolstered.

And he had seen her - so similar to her brother, ordinary brown eyes and black hair, clad in deep pink kimono, carrying a _nodachi_ and following those Shinsengumi fools like abandoned puppy.

And it angered him. Had she no pride, submitting to them just like that? To play a weak, useless, _ordinary_ female, catering to their whims? She should've been protected and cherished, but instead, he had found out that she was a _maiko_ in order to get more information for the bastards.

While her loyalty was admirable, it was also foolish. Her sole existence spurred those fools of hers to take _ochimizu_ in order to protect her – truly, it was like ants protecting the lioness, and if nothing else, they did protect her till their last breath left their bodies - he knew that much.

Every one of their deaths hurt her, causing her to mourn them like they actually _mattered_. It made his heart and gut clench with jealousy, for them to be so precious to her -

He was so much more than _them_ and yet, she only looked at him with fear, anger and distrust.

She had been so magnificent, all golden eyes and silver hair, when she shed her disguise in order to protect that Vice-Commander, and yet, still not his.

 _Never his._

Instead, she had chosen that lowly _rasetsu_ of a Vice-Commander, Hijikata.

And he gave up. At least, _he_ was worthy - more than worthy - of being a demon, what with his tenacity and winning the control over _ochimizu_ flowing within his veins.

At least, she would be in good hands, even after his death.


	9. Interlude

**_ANATA WA SHIAWASE NI NARU_**

Hakuoki/Utapri crossover

 ** _Disclaimer:_** I don't own _Hakuoki,_ nor do I own _Uta no Prince-Sama._ This story is a figment of my imagination, with the characters being borrowed from their true owners.

 ** _Summary:_** _STARISH_ was bound together with much older and bloodier bonds. A promise, spoken many years ago is now bound to either come true or crash and burn.

 ** _Shout Out:_** Thank you, **_Mirrali, Zephyr5_** and **_Matron_** for mentioning I accidentally doubled the chapters. Okita has his own chapter now, so if you haven't yet, go read it

 _ **Warnings:**_ AU-verse, crossover, death, violent scenes and maybe happily ever after. Oh, and drama galore.

 ** _**Interlude**_**

Their star of hope had risen just as quickly as it had fallen into the depths of despair afterwards.

Time after time, the scenes repeated relentlessly, sometimes the same, sometimes with different outcomes, but always, there were always the dead ones and the remaining one had wed their _oni_ princess…. Only to die afterward, leaving her alone again.

Even the gods of time, unfeeling as they were, had to weep at the girl's and her beloveds' misery.

Always unknown. Always repeating.

Hope gifted and then cruelly torn away, like fragile bloom in the spring quelled by the harsh winter winds.

 _"_ _Someday… You will be happy."_

How many times had the girl wished to fulfill that simple wish of her dearest, most beloved companions? How many times had she unknowingly break it with her silent tears, yearning after them?

How many times had she wished to be braver, to actually make a difference for her wolves?

The mighty lioness, being protected by a bunch of stray cats that she was. Robbed of her inheritance, a wild, untamed rose blooming among cultured ones, unaware of the poison within her veins.

Thousand cranes, thousand wishes, a chrysalis flying to the moon. Their bonds of fate were sealed from their very first meeting, cobbling together into an intricate lace that bound the dead to living and the living to dead.

Time began slipping onward once more, and for the last time, the cogs groaned, moving forward, weaving the once-before bonds anew.


	10. Saito I

**_ANATA WA SHIAWASE NI NARU_**

 _Hakuoki/Utapri crossover_

 ** _Disclaimer:_** I don't own _Hakuoki,_ nor do I own _Uta no Prince-Sama._ This story is a figment of my imagination, with the characters being borrowed from their true owners _._

 ** _Summary:_** _STARISH_ was bound together with much older and bloodier bonds. A promise, spoken many years ago is now bound to either come true or crash and burn.

 ** _Shout Out:_** Right, getting into the middle of things, so to speak. I am curious if you would find your just who exactly is hiding behind the Shinsengumi's names. Care to guess?

 _ **Warnings:**_ AU-verse, crossover, death, violent scenes and maybe happily ever after. Oh, and drama galore.

 ** _**Saito**_**

His family was... traditional. _Again._ Why wasn't he surprised?

Stifling a sigh and acutely missing his messy ponytail, he did his usual morning routine, quiet and serious as always. His implacable face had always unnerved the servants of the house, so he learned to be self-sufficient very early on – not a hard thing to do, what with his memories, even if he felt grateful for washing machines and electricity. He also ceased to be afraid of his father.

After all, when one had lived in one of the harshest eras known to man, bearing the weight of his subordinates' lives while leading them against _rasetsu_ , one dour man's scowl kind of lost its' potency on him. At first, he had hoped to be a good son to him, but that proved to be impossible, like asking him to forget iai-do.

The man that fathered him wasn't worthy of his respect. Thus, he found the others - Grandfather, that orange-haired menace ( - _they weren't Shinsengumi, they weren't pack_ , his mind whispered to him - ) and find his own way in life.

(Strangely coincidental with Jinguji's, and that star girl.)

Cool eyes looked at the quivering man in front of him, who was at the moment sweating like a pig against the blade being held precariously against his throat.

"You will let me attend. _Or else_."

(Always a stickler for rules, but Saito knew when to threw them through the proverbial window, courtesy of her.)

"Y-Yes!"


	11. Harada I

**_ANATA WA SHIAWASE NI NARU_**

 _Hakuoki/Utapri crossover_

 ** _Disclaimer:_** I don't own _Hakuoki,_ nor do I own _Uta no Prince-Sama._ This story is a figment of my imagination, with the characters being borrowed from their true owners.

 ** _Summary:_** _STARISH_ was bound together with much older and bloodier bonds. A promise, spoken many years ago is now bound to either come true or crash and burn.

 ** _Shout Out:_** Second one for you to guess... I think I made it too easy. Right, we'll get to the harder ones a little bit later...

 _ **Warnings:**_ AU-verse, crossover, death, violent scenes and maybe happily ever after. Oh, and drama galore.

 ** _**Harada**_**

" _Kyaa!_ Jinguji-sama!"

"Don't be a disgrace to our father."

 _Bo-ring._ Same shit, different day. What he wouldn't have given for something interesting to happen - the orange haired, blue-eyed youth snorted in contempt.

Always the same useless flattering and preaching. It had gone as far as for him having to sneak out to the abandoned scrap yard to have some sense of peace.

It had worked well enough, until he was ambushed by a nearby gang.

By some kind of sheer dumb luck he had chanced upon the steel bar to beat the punks with. It felt natural in his hands and he instinctively knew -

( _-suri-ya spear -_ )

Laughing with delight as he beckoned his attackers to try again.

They did.

The fools.

Later on, he came back, his spear hanging at his hip (collapsible version, much easier to carry around), and they began their dance anew.

He became known as the _'Asura of Blue-Eyes_ ' for his merciless style and winning streak. It became a form of stress relief for him, to slip from his watchers and go for good old trashing down.

He played his sax less and less.

What was the point, anyway?

(There was no her to give his heart to. Not anymore.)


	12. Heisuke I

**_ANATA WA SHIAWASE NI NARU_**

 _Hakuoki/Utapri crossover_

 ** _Disclaimer:_** I don't own _Hakuoki,_ nor do I own _Uta no Prince-Sama._ This story is a figment of my imagination, with the characters being borrowed from their true owners.

 ** _Summary:_** _STARISH_ was bound together with much older and bloodier bonds. A promise, spoken many years ago is now bound to either come true or crash and burn.

 ** _Shout Out:_** Third one. I was really amused when I was writing it, and hope it will amuse you equally well, if not better.

 _ **Warnings:**_ AU-verse, crossover, death, violent scenes and maybe happily ever after. Oh, and drama galore.

 ** _**Heisuke**_**

He always had a lot bigger temper than it was healthy for him to have. It caused no small amount of concern to his family - well, his heart was weak, and shouldn't he be resting?

He could kind of get why was Okita such a grumpy pants when he had been left behind. And maybe it was also his punishment for that little white lie back then.

Whatever.

But hells to no - he would _not_ allow any illness to win over him – what would Okita think? Or Shinpachi or Harada? The last two wouldn't let him live it down, that was for certain.

So he trained, and when he had been caught, he had fibbed out that he wanted to be just like Hyuuga-san - it was by a pure dumb luck they believed him and he was never a good liar to begin with, but in this instance, he managed.

Though his unreasonable fear of heights irked him immensely…. It rated just under the lack of his height and someone insulting Hyuuga-san. Well, he _was_ a hard-core fan. It was amusing thought, for one of the Shinsengumi to adore an actor of all things, no matter how proficient he was. But he could be childish like that. Why not? It had been weird enough when he had been in school and given Heisuke of Shinsengumi to write about. And wasn't that a riot – him having to write his own life story. He got a D- for historical inaccuracy and A+ for inventiveness, which made him laugh hysterically for a good five minutes, much to his classmates' concern. After that little episode he threw himself into the karate lessons with all the more rigor.

(He didn't forget his own fighting style, oh no. But it was always interesting to have something up his sleeves to surprise the opponent with.)


	13. Hijikata I

**_ANATA WA SHIAWASE NI NARU_**

 _Hakuoki/Utapri crossover_

 ** _Disclaimer:_** I don't own _Hakuoki,_ nor do I own _Uta no Prince-Sama._ This story is a figment of my imagination, with the characters being borrowed from their true owners.

 ** _Summary:_** _STARISH_ was bound together with much older and bloodier bonds. A promise, spoken many years ago is now bound to either come true or crash and burn.

 ** _Shout Out:_** A little bit of foreshadowing...

 _ **Warnings:**_ AU-verse, crossover, death, violent scenes and maybe happily ever after. Oh, and drama galore.

 ** _**Hijikata**_**

This life was stupid. His own face stared at him from the mirror, scowling furiously at its origin as if he were the culprit for the latest bullshit that had happened to him.

He wiped his mouth off the blood, scowling at the red substance that somehow managed to offend him.

 _'_ _Sloppy.'_ The voice in his head chastised him, and he agreed. How could he be so careless as to allow his fa - no, his sperm donor to even lay a hit on him?

If Okita had been here, he would've laughed himself sick, the bastard. _Demon Vice-Commander_ , his ass.

But when that lowlife of a drunk raised his hand against his _mother_ , all bets were off. He had done many things he wasn't proud of in his life - in both of his lives - but he never, _ever_ condoned violence against women.

What followed was the trash-down of a heavyset man taller than him by three hands and at least twice heavier than him - but he didn't care. After his little _'talk'_ , the sorry excuse of a man fled out of their lives. At first, it would be hard - he would have to get a job to support both of them, as his mother had heavily depended on that overly controlling bastard husband of hers. No matter.

Dark eyes flashed deep violet momentarily. As a Vice-Commander, he was more than able to find the means to survive, even in this curiously civilized world. The only thing that could've made this situation better would be her, but she wasn't here anymore.

Grimacing slightly, he resolved to find a job as soon as possible.

Inhale. Exhale. He would do it. Because of her. For her.

This life, however shitty it was, was too precious to waste on being someone ordinary.


	14. Shinpachi I

**_ANATA WA SHIAWASE NI NARU_**

 _Hakuoki/Utapri crossover_

 ** _Disclaimer:_** I don't own _Hakuoki,_ nor do I own _Uta no Prince-Sama._ This story is a figment of my imagination, with the characters being borrowed from their true owners.

 ** _Summary:_** _STARISH_ was bound together with much older and bloodier bonds. A promise, spoken many years ago is now bound to either come true or crash and burn.

 ** _Shout Out:_** This one is kind of strange, but if you piece together just who is it, then there is a small hint as to why.

 _ **Warnings:**_ AU-verse, crossover, death, violent scenes and maybe happily ever after. Oh, and drama galore.

 ** _**Shinpachi**_**

Shattered. Reborn. In fractals. He remembered. He didn't remember.

Strange, ancient time, someone calling him Shin - something.

He loved cute things.

He loved music. He loathed noisy people.

He loved his body. Loved the strength it afforded to him.

His friend reminded him of another friend. Long, brown ponytail. Easy to fool or place the blame on to and then leave him in the wake of Vice-Commander's wrath.

He talked about Piyo-chan - people left him alone.

Sad. Relieved. _Unhappy._

Like three sides warring within his skull.

His eyes were of a wrong color. Green was Okita's…. Who was Okita?

Hair too, was wrong. Bandanna didn't suit him (anymore). Thick, clumsy, oafy fingers deftly playing violin instead of delicately holding the sake saucer.

He dreamed. Of blood and betrayal and shattered mirrors.

He dreamed of cunning green eyes and fox-like smiles.

He dreamed of stolen fishes and sermons about not wasting food and steel-like violet eyes. He dreamed of jasmine and ice, of red and hunger and wanting to protect –

\- And when he woke up, the dreams were dead and buried under sparkly smiles and golden naivety and sharp, glasses-less intensity when he was writing his feelings via notes on the paper.

He dreamed of their flag and her smile.

He didn't want to, but he did.

He didn't want to feel that horrible gnawing loss anymore. So he teased and held on and prayed that it would be - if not today, then maybe someday – _enough_.


	15. Chizuru I

**_ANATA WA SHIAWASE NI NARU_**

 _Hakuoki/Utapri crossover_

 ** _Disclaimer:_** I don't own _Hakuoki,_ nor do I own _Uta no Prince-Sama._ This story is a figment of my imagination, with the characters being borrowed from their true owners.

 ** _Summary:_** _STARISH_ was bound together with much older and bloodier bonds. A promise, spoken many years ago is now bound to either come true or crash and burn.

 ** _Shout Out:_** This little snippet was the easiest one to write out, simple and bittersweet.

 _ **Warnings:**_ AU-verse, crossover, death, violent scenes and maybe happily ever after. Oh, and drama galore.

 ** _**Chizuru**_**

It was strange how much more at home she felt at the countryside instead of the town. Even as a little girl, she always felt uncomfortable among all those strange _(loud and rude and dissonant)_ sounds of cars and pedestrians below her window. The sunsets and sunrises seemed faker, like they had been painted on a paper-mâché that was about to be torn down any time now.

They thought she was sick and she was. Sick of strange things and smelly atmosphere.

She had been relocated to the countryside, among birdsong and calm, morning dew and evening frost.

She knew the old house like the palm of her hand. Aside from some modern conveniences like electricity, washing machine and old radio, it was like it used to be in the past (how did she know that?).

She knew which flowers had the healing properties and what they were used for - but the knowledge was sporadic, coming and going in waves.

She missed them - she didn't exactly know _who_ , but still, she missed them. Red and silver and blood and protectiveness and always that gut-wrenching feeling of helplessness that dispersed like bad dreams in the wake of morning sunshine.

 _The swords and spear and a flag_ – and frustrating feeling of not knowing why her eyes filled with tears every time when she saw them.

She loved the one and she loved them all but her love was always, always wrong, every time she had tried.

She saw them clad in their uniforms, snow white and sky blue, their backs turned toward her and it tore her heart asunder, even if she knew that they felt no ill will toward her for her choices.

 _"_ _Twinkle, twinkle little star_

 _How I wonder what you are…"_

Thousand prayers, thousand notes tinkling into the night, asking for but one wish.

To let them have their happy someday this time.


	16. Okita I

**_ANATA WA SHIAWASE NI NARU_**

 _Hakuoki/Utapri crossover_

 ** _Disclaimer:_** _I don't own Hakuoki, nor do I own Uta no Prince-Sama. This story is a figment of my imagination, with the characters being borrowed from their true owners._

 ** _Summary:_** _STARISH was bound together with much older and bloodier bonds. A promise, spoken many years ago is now bound to either come true or crash and burn._

 ** _Shout Out:_** A little bit into scary waters... just like Okita is.

 _ **Warnings:**_ AU-verse, crossover, death, violent scenes and maybe happily ever after. Oh, and drama galore.

**Okita**

It had always been with him. That ruthless, bloody - _monstrous_ \- part of him, lurking behind his happy smiles and cheerful attitude.

 _(It hadn't vanished, not even when she accepted him.)_

It should have scared him - after all, it was not normal to be a five year old and reveling in the spatters of blood on his hands from his would-be attacker, nor should he enjoy the terrified expression on the aforementioned attacker's face.

Weak. That was what the bastard was. Unworthy of life. The scum. The red-haired little boy grinned as he yanked at his victim's intestines with his left hand carelessly, still holding a knife in his blood-slicked right one.

A rhapsody of red, a child painted with crimson, white and black with a hint of green both on his clothes and in his gaze. The little demon, in the victim's horrified gaze, grinned cheerfully maliciously as if he were doing nothing more than building a couple of sandcastles instead playing with the slick guts in his hand, in some kind of silly one-sided tug-of-war.

Late this night, Japan was shocked to find out by the exclusive news of a brutal murder of a well-known pedophile.

Okita acted just as shocked as his playmates. But inside, his beast purred with satisfaction as it licked its lips at the mission successfully done.

Okita never liked it when children were mistreated… and eight years later, one overly greedy local _yakuza_ leader would learn a very harsh lesson on this exact subject when he would try to extort the tiny orphanage that had been the home to the resident monster of Shinsengumi.


	17. Chikage I

**_ANATA WA SHIAWASE NI NARU_**

 _Hakuoki/Utapri crossover_

 ** _Disclaimer:_** _I don't own Hakuoki, nor do I own Uta no Prince-Sama. This story is a figment of my imagination, with the characters being borrowed from their true owners._

 ** _Summary:_** _STARISH was bound together with much older and bloodier bonds. A promise, spoken many years ago is now bound to either come true or crash and burn._

 ** _Shout Out:_** Hm-m. The last snippet is also a little bit quirky, but let's see if you will guess right this time too...

 _ **Warnings:**_ AU-verse, crossover, death, violent scenes and maybe happily ever after. Oh, and drama galore.

 ** _**Chikage **_**

He was being surrounded by music, warmth and affection. He had soaked it in greedily, laughing and dancing and singing, remembering, underneath all of it, the shine of katana and the sharp pain piercing his chest by the cold blade on that cool moon-soaked night.

Hakuoki – demon among sakuras. Transient yet eternal, fake and still truer than the real deal.

They didn't give up. They protected her until their last breaths left their bodies. The true demons hiding within fragile human shells.

An intense sadness and resignation hat he wasn't the one to hold her heart.

He wanted to begrudge them for taking her from him, even if they had done so unknowingly, to make the priceless jewel bow at their whims. He couldn't.

 _(Not now.)_

In the end, she didn't choose him. In the end, he couldn't bear to make her hate him, even if that would mean stronger heirs for the future.

In the end... He was as helpless to her unknowing whims as Shinsengumi themselves were.

When he had been cursed into cat, half of him was panicked – the younger, more innocent half – but the other (- _demon_ -) half seethed in anger before resigning itself to the cat's life.

If this was the punishment for his interference with those wannabe samurai, then it was a cruel and unusual one.

He never liked to be helpless and at mercy of the low-lives that were humans - but wait, he was also a human now …

Thousand wishes… to see her again, no matter what. Surely, if he had been reincarnated, then she could've also been born again.

Once again, a small black cat made a wish to the starry sky.


End file.
